Жизнь в чужой стране ~ Life in a foreign country

To give you a glimpse of what it's like to live in a foreign country...

Just a little over a week ago, I was in Dnepropetrovsk with Victor Dantsev to sign for my Ukrainian temporary residence permit. At the bus station I gave some money to the driver to get on the minibus for the 2-hour drive back to Krivoy Rog. Instead of giving me my change, he told me that I had not given him any money. I told him that I HAD given him 50 UAH, but he insisted that I hadn't and said that I had "deceived" him. I was upset, but I needed to get on the bus, so I handed him ANOTHER bill, he gave me the change and I took my seat.

I fumed in my head during the trip home, irritated that I had been taken advantage of and had to pay twice for my seat on the bus - EVEN THOUGH it was only the equivalent of about $6! But by the time I arrived, I realized that it wasn't worth being upset about and that there are far worse situations.

I'm still not sure why the driver did that, but maybe he thought I was a rich foreigner or something ... oh well, I will probably never understand, but it's not important.

On a side note, I now have an official Ukrainian ID that looks very much like a passport, which should make purchasing train tickets and some other things easier.

A lack of understanding also goes with the territory...

The other day we were at a facility that used to be a rehab center with a program to help street kids, orphans and kids from troubled homes. It's more now of a transitional home where they can stay while the directors try to find foster homes for them. We did a little program there and then played with the kids for awhile.

At one point I had a little guy named Женя (Zhenya) sitting in my lap and he must have tried about 3 times to tell me something, but I didn't understand the words he was saying and I finally had to say, "I'm sorry, I don't understand." Извини, я не понимаю.

It didn't bother him too much, and we just carried on. It's a process and it is getting better, but there will still be times when I don't know what's going on...that's just part of life in a foreign country!

Struggle and Rest

You may be asking why I put two opposing words together in the title -- it's because they are both necessary to the Christian journey and they often go hand-in-hand.

For the last several weeks, I've been struggling with questions about purpose and feelings of not being useful or needed, particularly in regard to the ministry I'm currently involved in. It's been on my mind constantly, and I've been praying much about it, but for the majority of the time, I've been praying that God would give me what I felt I needed most.

I shared this with a few people I trust and asked them to pray for me also, especially as I waited for an opportunity to discuss this and consider what the best resolution is.

As I've been waiting and praying and reading God's Word, I've noticed the tone of my attitude changing from "please make it easier for me" to "give me the peace to accept Your will for me."

I meet via Skype with my parents and several other couples and individuals for a Bible study every Thursday morning (Wednesday evening in BC, Canada), and we are studying the book of Hebrews. Last week, the theme of the study was "rest," and that really spoke to me. I want to share with you a few of the insights I gleaned from that:

• There are different kinds of rest - there's physical rest, mental/emotional rest and spiritual rest - and we need these different kinds of rest in our lives. In a symphony, all the instruments don't play all the time. The rests are intended to accentuate the music, and similarly, the periods of rest in our lives are necessary to fully appreciate the rest of what we do.

• The Sabbath rest is a picture of our rest in Christ at salvation - the work of salvation is complete and there is nothing we need to do in regard to that. The Canaan rest (the rest that God had promised to His people) is a rest of claiming our inheritance in Christ - a rest of submission. Submission is a process - we don't give up everything at once; we may be able to rest in one context, and then in another way later on.

• Hebrews 4:11 says that to enter that "rest of submission", we need to give due diligence/make every effort/do our best. We need to work hard at giving things up to God, and we must give it our best effort.

• Hebrews 4:12 describes the Word of God and the picture of separating soul and spirit is important - God is the only One who can separate us from the things we want to hold onto and what we struggle with. The soul - our will and emotions - is what needs sanctifying. It's important to remember that while it may be painful, we are NOT being separated from God or His love, but rather from the things that hold us back from truly "resting" in Him.

Therefore, today when I had my ministry evaluation meeting and it was communicated to me that this time is intended to be a time of learning and that I don't need to strive so hard to "do something in order to feel useful," my heart had been softened to the point that I was able to submit to his leadership and accept his advice for me.

In the devotional from Joni Eareckson Tada today, I read these words:
Everyone enjoys the idea that God's plans for His children are to prosper them and not harm them, to give hope and a future, bright with possibilities. Yet God gave this invigorating and encouraging promise (Jeremiah 29:11) to inspire the captives. They were not to lose heart. One day, the Lord would deliver them and bring the nation back to Jerusalem. Despite the heartbreak of captivity, God's purpose was not to harm His people. Yes, they would feel the sting of slavery and hardship, but it ultimately meant a prosperous future.

God's purpose for our lives is usually discovered through the process of struggle and surrendering our will and desires to Him. And when we do, we discover incredible peace and rest in Him. One of my new favourite songs by Tenth Avenue North illustrates this when it says:

Hallelujah, we are free to struggle. We're not struggling to be free. Your [Christ's] blood bought and makes us children - children, drop your chains and sing!

So even though I will still struggle sometimes, I can be at rest in God.