Change is a Process...

You know the phrase: "Please be patient; God's not finished with me yet."

It usually gets pulled out and applied at moments when we feel we've really messed up or at times when we are painfully aware of our weakness and inadequacy. But it is not simply something to say in an awkward situation - it is a hopeful declaration.

I don't know about you, but I am EXTREMELY grateful that we have such a patient and gracious God - He NEVER gives up on us when we sin, miss the mark, disappoint Him, ourselves and others, or make any number of mistakes.

Because of Christ, when we accept His sacrifice for us on the cross and surrender our lives to Him, God the Father now sees us not as flawed human beings, but as precious children clothed in the righteousness of His Son, and He is constantly working in and through us to change us so that we reflect the image of Jesus and bring glory and praise to Himself.

But make no mistake...this is a PROCESS, and one that continues day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute.

I think of the beautiful allegory "Hinds' Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard ... the Shepherd had promised Much-Afraid to bring her to the high places, to perfect her and to fulfil the deepest yearnings of her soul. But every time on the journey where the path seemed to lead away from the goal, Much-Afraid lost sight of the Shepherd's love and faithfulness and fell captive to her fear again. Then she would call out to the Shepherd and He would come immediately and patiently remind her that He would keep His promise. He asked her if she would she trust Him even though it didn't make sense? And then she would build an altar and make a sacrifice, picking up a stone to carry with her as a reminder of the lesson she had learned. It was only at the end of the journey that the stones were turned into precious jewels for a crown, and that she was ready to receive what the Shepherd had promised.

How like Much-Afraid I am sometimes! And how wonderfully patient and gracious is our Good Shepherd - He meets us right where we are at and, though He may discipline us to bring us to the point of surrender, He never condemns us for our weakness, but rather reminds us of His strength. Then He picks us up and sets us back on the path He has chosen for us, the path that will transform us and conform us to His perfect will.

I have been doing some soul-searching lately and have recognized some things in my heart and my life that need to be changed. I have been fighting a battle with my flesh and through Christ I know I will gain the victory, even though I'm not quite there yet. And today I had to face once again certain areas of weakness that affect my ability to effectively serve others.

It is not comfortable, but recognizing our failings and weaknesses is the starting point to move forward, to grow and change. I write this with tears in my eyes, but my heart is also hopeful because I know that God will never let go of me. As long as I seek Him, He will guide me and He will take me through the valleys when He knows there is a lesson there I need to learn, and I will eventually come out on the other side.

A little chorus we sang often when I was a child says this:

"Little by little, every day; little by little in every way,

my Jesus is changing me, He's changing me.

Since I made a turn-about face, I've been walking in His grace, my Jesus is changing me.

He lives in me - God's Holy Spirit - I'm not the same person that I used to be.

Sometimes it's slow going,

but there's a knowing that one day like Him I will be."

When we're in the midst of a refining fire, it's not pleasant. But God has promised to "take away our heart of stone and give us a new heart, a heart of flesh." He has promised to "complete the good work He started in us" until the day we come face to face with Jesus. And He has promised that we will find Him "when we seek Him with all our hearts."

I echo the words of the apostle Paul in Philippians 3: "...not that I have already achieved all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on towards the goal to take hold of the prize for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."

It's NOT easy to be still and wait for God.
It's NOT easy to admit when I'm wrong and to face my weaknesses.
It's NOT easy to face the reality that God's plan is not only different from, but better than my own.

But it's ALWAYS good and, if the desire of my heart is truly to please Him and to become more like Him every day, then it's WORTH IT!

And it's not going to happen because of my goals or my determination to succeed, but only as I humble myself before my LORD and allow Him to continue the process of refining me. And when my life brings forth fruit, ALL the praise and honour goes to Him.

LIFE-LONG LEARNING

Life-long learning ... I thought of several phrases I could make with these words:
Learning about life is a long process. Life involves learning. A long life is full of learning.

I haven't blogged much lately -- mostly because February has been an uneventful month and I have been a little less enthusiastic about my studies. Could partly be because the spring semester seems longer, but I have also not been the most diligent with my time management.

However, a couple of recent experiences have caused me to look at my situation in a different light, and I want to share with you what I believe God has spoken to my heart.

I have not been diligent in setting aside time daily to just be in the presence of the Lord. My Bible reading and prayer time have been inconsistent. Since He is really my Lord, my life needs to display that, even in the areas known only to God and to me. If I am going to be really honest, this lack of devotional time and communion with God has affected my productivity and my attitude. But when I honestly confessed to Him that I had been allowing other things to take precedence over what I knew was most important, He began to work a change in me, and I noticed a marked improvement in my attitude the following day.

This is not the first time I have had to learn this lesson, and it certainly won't be the last, but each time it changes me a little more and my roots grow a little deeper.

Last Sunday was an exciting day. My landlady wasn't feeling well in the morning, so I thought she would stay home, but she was at church also. Later, at home, when I was waiting for my pizza in the oven to cook, she was sharing with me how the pastor's message had impacted her and it was a really special sharing time for both of us. I realized then that I need to take hold of these moments every time they come because you cannot always plan for them.

This week, I went swimming for the first time, and the following day I had a horribly runny nose. My teacher was adamant that it was because I went outside too quickly after the swimming and although she expressed it in a very kind way, I am not proud of my initial reaction. I didn't want to be told how to do something, and I struggled with it all day, but there was this thought in my mind that perhaps she was right. After talking to my mom, I realized that perhaps the issue was my unwillingness to set aside my own ideas and adjust to a different way of doing things, and not the advice that I was given.

I don't like being told how to do things, how to say things (this happens a lot in class) and although I know I should try and adapt to the culture here, there are still times when I want to do things my way. This is not only detrimental to the process of learning how to live in community and harmony in a different country and culture, but also in my Christian walk. The New Testament makes it very clear that we are no longer in charge of our own lives, but that we now belong to God and we must be willing to die - to lay down our wills, our desires, our pride and self-importance - and allow Him to direct us.

The process of language learning often doesn't go quite the way I want it to, but I have to remember that it is a process, and just like God is patient in the process of changing me to become more like Christ, I have to patiently trust Him to help me accomplish the goal.

Someone once said, "When you stop learning, you stop growing."
May I always remember that God has promised to complete the good work He started in me, and that all He asks of me is to press on every day in faithfulness and obedience to Him.

EXPECTATIONS, LETTING GO and TRUST

This blog post has been a draft for about a month now. I knew that I needed to write it, but I needed to experience a few more situations first...and now I'm ready. Sometimes putting my feelings and thoughts into words gives me courage for the challenges ahead, so here goes:

Living here in Ukraine and trying to adapt to the culture and the challenges of studying seems to bring out both the best and the worst in me, and that's a good thing, although it doesn't always feel like it. When God in His grace redeemed me and called me to Himself, He began a process called "sanctification." Sometimes I forget this, and then my Heavenly Father lovingly chastens me and reminds me that the goal is to change and transform me to be more like His Son, Jesus Christ. There are times along the way when I may receive unexpected encouragement or glimpses of the miraculous changes that He is bringing about, but it is important to remember - especially when it's hard - that He will complete the work He started in me because it is all about Him.

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ..." (Philippians 1:6)

EXPECTATIONS -- sometimes we realize that we have them, and sometimes we don't. In both cases, there is often disappointment and hurt and a wide range of emotions. But there is also great opportunity for grace. I think probably one of the hardest aspects of understanding expectations is acknowledging that some of them are not important and truly desiring to change the way I respond to circumstances. I will never be free of expectations in this life, but I am so thankful that in His mercy God understands my weakness.

LETTING GO -- once I have honestly faced my expectations I must move to the next step - learning to release my grasp on them and the emotions attached to them. This is really a shift in perspective, because in order to let go I have to be willing to change. Too often I find myself thinking, "Why is this so hard? Why can't I just do it the way I want to or have done it for so long?" This is stinking pride -- the root of it is that I want to feel knowledgeable or important or that I have been able to achieve something, and so instead of being willing to learn from others and looking for the positives, I gripe and complain about how difficult it is to change.

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain.” (Galatians 2:20-21)

Were it not for this truth, for the reality that Christ lives in me and is working in me, it would feel hopeless. But I can press on because I know that this is true.

TRUST -- it is a daily challenge to trust that God's plan truly is the best and to translate that into how I build relationships and respond to circumstances that come my way. I have to trust that there is a reason, even if I cannot see it now and I must trust that if my heart is truly willing, my Father will enable me to do what feels impossible to me at the moment.

These insights have come out of my experiences in learning to live in close quarters with people I don't know who think and act differently than I do, and in studying a language and culture that is in many ways foreign to me. I want to relate to the people in my life and to build relationships with them, and in order to do that I have to be willing to develop new ways of thinking and acting, but the old ways must go first.

I appreciate your prayers and encouragement on this journey -- God is at work and I want to joyfully accept what He brings into my life and allow Him to transform me into the person I need to be. I am in the service of the King and He must be Lord of all.

LORD, I NEED REVIVAL

July 22, 2011 - Sunset on East Loon Lake, ON

This beautiful sunset was a reminder to me of the way that God revives His world as he brings each day to a close and brings a new beginning in the morning.

This weekend I had the privilege of spending some time with friends at their camp on the lake, and it was refreshing to body, mind and spirit in a number of ways. Work has been trying at times this week, and I was exhausted from the heat and the busyness of life, so the time at the lake was a welcome reprieve.

Yet I am reminded, especially as I think on the words of Ephesians 5, that we as believers in Jesus Christ are called to live not by the ways of this world or solely influenced by our circumstances, but in a way that brings glory to God.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma...Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord."

Pastor Kevin spoke on Sunday about how change in our lives and in our relationships begins in our own hearts, not with others. I know this to be true, but we need the transforming power of the Holy Spirit and His grace in order to change this. And I was reminded this week how much I need His revival in my heart so that I live daily setting my "mind on things above, not on earthly things," doing all things "in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father" (Colossians 3) and not living "for myself, but for Him who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Galatians 2)

I wrote the following poem on May 2, 2005 after a Sunday morning sermon, and I think it is a very important and appropriate reminder of the perspective I need to have as I seek to grow in my Christian walk. I hope this is an encouragement to you as well.

"REVIVAL" (By Darlene Joy Koop

The tears begin to flow as I survey my world,

A place of forgotten beauty and hope.

People are searching for fulfilment and purpose,

While their lives fall apart and they cannot cope.

Disaster, death and fear prevail,

There seems to be no escape from the pain.

"Why can't they see?" my heart cries out,

"There is life and peace if they'll call on Your Name."

We need a revival right across this land;

Freedom from corruption and sin.

How long will it take for the truth to break through?

Then I realize it starts from within.

My own life, I know, often seems darkened

And from struggles I long to be freed.

But when I listen, God speaks to my heart;

For revival to come, it must start with me.

I need to choose daily to serve my God

And allow His work in my life.

I must seek, above all, His ways and His will

And let Him take away the sorrow and strife.

I cannot change the world in which I live,

But I have an opportunity each day

To let Christ's love shine through me -

"Lord, send a revival," I pray.