Thankfully, I can't remember most of the nightmare - a few things still remain in my memory - but suffice to say that I awoke suddenly at about 3:00 am with my heart pounding heavily and a palpable sense of fear surrounding me. Although my eyes opened immediately and, although I could somewhat see my surroundings and I knew I was in my bed, it still felt a little like I was in the dream.
I knew I couldn't just go back to sleep - if I closed my eyes, I would be right back in the middle of it. So I just started quietly singing - with a quivering voice - the first worship song that came to mind. "Jesus, all for Jesus, all I am and have and ever hope to be..." By the time I had sung through the song, I had calmed a little but my heart was still pounding.
I continued singing, songs that focused on the name of Jesus, because I know that just saying His name has a powerful impact in these kind of situations. Once my heart was beating normally again, I began to pray aloud. I claimed the truth that God's Holy Spirit lives within me and was present right there in the room with me, and I thanked God for His strength, sovereignty, power, omniscience, and anything else I could think of. I prayed for protection over friends and family and asked for a covering of peace over me so that I could rest easily until it was time for me to get up. I read Psalm 121 in both English and Russian and sang quietly, "I lift my eyes up...to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from You, Maker of heaven, Creator of the earth..."
Finally, it felt like the darkness and oppression I had experienced in the dream had lifted and I could no longer keep my eyes open, so I prayed for God to watch over my mind and then I rolled over and immediately went back to sleep. I think I had probably been awake for about 40 minutes.
Praise the Lord, I slept peacefully until I got out of bed about 4 hours later! I don't even remember what thoughts went through my mind or if I dreamed anything after that point. But I was very conscious of the sweet, comforting presence of my Lord surrounding me. It was almost as though His arms were literally holding me as I slept.
I believe that what happened in the wee hours of this morning was a spiritual attack of the enemy. I don't know why or what precipitated it - but I could clearly sense a spirit of darkness in the dream and in the moments after I awoke. And I battled it as best I could with the power of prayer, worship and God's Word.
Ephesians 6:11-12 says this: "Put on all the armor that God gives you, so that you will be able to stand up against the devil's evil tricks. For we are not fighting against human beings but against the wicked spiritual forces in this world; the rulers, authorities and cosmic powers of this dark age."
We know that our enemy will attack - but we often don't know when or how. So we must have our armor at the ready. The Spirit of God within me helped me to recognize what was really going on and I am so thankful for all the songs and Scripture I have memorized so that I did not have to think hard about where to begin to combat the darkness that was surrounding me.
Jesus Christ has won the victory over our enemy and through His blood and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can win every spiritual battle. I hate to have my sleep interrupted, but I am thankful that I woke up when I did and was able to find peace for my spirit again.
My closing thought is a remembrance of a little song my mom used to sing to us at bedtime when we were children - especially when we had trouble sleeping:
Jesus is with me all through the night,
Stays close beside me all through the night;
So I sleep safely till morning light;
Jesus is with me all through the night.
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