EXPECTATIONS, LETTING GO and TRUST

This blog post has been a draft for about a month now. I knew that I needed to write it, but I needed to experience a few more situations first...and now I'm ready. Sometimes putting my feelings and thoughts into words gives me courage for the challenges ahead, so here goes:

Living here in Ukraine and trying to adapt to the culture and the challenges of studying seems to bring out both the best and the worst in me, and that's a good thing, although it doesn't always feel like it. When God in His grace redeemed me and called me to Himself, He began a process called "sanctification." Sometimes I forget this, and then my Heavenly Father lovingly chastens me and reminds me that the goal is to change and transform me to be more like His Son, Jesus Christ. There are times along the way when I may receive unexpected encouragement or glimpses of the miraculous changes that He is bringing about, but it is important to remember - especially when it's hard - that He will complete the work He started in me because it is all about Him.

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ..." (Philippians 1:6)

EXPECTATIONS -- sometimes we realize that we have them, and sometimes we don't. In both cases, there is often disappointment and hurt and a wide range of emotions. But there is also great opportunity for grace. I think probably one of the hardest aspects of understanding expectations is acknowledging that some of them are not important and truly desiring to change the way I respond to circumstances. I will never be free of expectations in this life, but I am so thankful that in His mercy God understands my weakness.

LETTING GO -- once I have honestly faced my expectations I must move to the next step - learning to release my grasp on them and the emotions attached to them. This is really a shift in perspective, because in order to let go I have to be willing to change. Too often I find myself thinking, "Why is this so hard? Why can't I just do it the way I want to or have done it for so long?" This is stinking pride -- the root of it is that I want to feel knowledgeable or important or that I have been able to achieve something, and so instead of being willing to learn from others and looking for the positives, I gripe and complain about how difficult it is to change.

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain.” (Galatians 2:20-21)

Were it not for this truth, for the reality that Christ lives in me and is working in me, it would feel hopeless. But I can press on because I know that this is true.

TRUST -- it is a daily challenge to trust that God's plan truly is the best and to translate that into how I build relationships and respond to circumstances that come my way. I have to trust that there is a reason, even if I cannot see it now and I must trust that if my heart is truly willing, my Father will enable me to do what feels impossible to me at the moment.

These insights have come out of my experiences in learning to live in close quarters with people I don't know who think and act differently than I do, and in studying a language and culture that is in many ways foreign to me. I want to relate to the people in my life and to build relationships with them, and in order to do that I have to be willing to develop new ways of thinking and acting, but the old ways must go first.

I appreciate your prayers and encouragement on this journey -- God is at work and I want to joyfully accept what He brings into my life and allow Him to transform me into the person I need to be. I am in the service of the King and He must be Lord of all.

LORD, I NEED REVIVAL

July 22, 2011 - Sunset on East Loon Lake, ON

This beautiful sunset was a reminder to me of the way that God revives His world as he brings each day to a close and brings a new beginning in the morning.

This weekend I had the privilege of spending some time with friends at their camp on the lake, and it was refreshing to body, mind and spirit in a number of ways. Work has been trying at times this week, and I was exhausted from the heat and the busyness of life, so the time at the lake was a welcome reprieve.

Yet I am reminded, especially as I think on the words of Ephesians 5, that we as believers in Jesus Christ are called to live not by the ways of this world or solely influenced by our circumstances, but in a way that brings glory to God.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma...Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord."

Pastor Kevin spoke on Sunday about how change in our lives and in our relationships begins in our own hearts, not with others. I know this to be true, but we need the transforming power of the Holy Spirit and His grace in order to change this. And I was reminded this week how much I need His revival in my heart so that I live daily setting my "mind on things above, not on earthly things," doing all things "in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father" (Colossians 3) and not living "for myself, but for Him who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Galatians 2)

I wrote the following poem on May 2, 2005 after a Sunday morning sermon, and I think it is a very important and appropriate reminder of the perspective I need to have as I seek to grow in my Christian walk. I hope this is an encouragement to you as well.

"REVIVAL" (By Darlene Joy Koop

The tears begin to flow as I survey my world,

A place of forgotten beauty and hope.

People are searching for fulfilment and purpose,

While their lives fall apart and they cannot cope.

Disaster, death and fear prevail,

There seems to be no escape from the pain.

"Why can't they see?" my heart cries out,

"There is life and peace if they'll call on Your Name."

We need a revival right across this land;

Freedom from corruption and sin.

How long will it take for the truth to break through?

Then I realize it starts from within.

My own life, I know, often seems darkened

And from struggles I long to be freed.

But when I listen, God speaks to my heart;

For revival to come, it must start with me.

I need to choose daily to serve my God

And allow His work in my life.

I must seek, above all, His ways and His will

And let Him take away the sorrow and strife.

I cannot change the world in which I live,

But I have an opportunity each day

To let Christ's love shine through me -

"Lord, send a revival," I pray.