All Through The Night

Normally when my head hits the pillow, I'm asleep for the night. It's rare that anything - even my often crazy dreams - interrupts my sleep. But early this morning, that's exactly what happened, and I knew the instant I awoke that something was not right.

Thankfully, I can't remember most of the nightmare - a few things still remain in my memory - but suffice to say that I awoke suddenly at about 3:00 am with my heart pounding heavily and a palpable sense of fear surrounding me. Although my eyes opened immediately and, although I could somewhat see my surroundings and I knew I was in my bed, it still felt a little like I was in the dream.

I knew I couldn't just go back to sleep - if I closed my eyes, I would be right back in the middle of it. So I just started quietly singing - with a quivering voice - the first worship song that came to mind. "Jesus, all for Jesus, all I am and have and ever hope to be..." By the time I had sung through the song, I had calmed a little but my heart was still pounding.

I continued singing, songs that focused on the name of Jesus, because I know that just saying His name has a powerful impact in these kind of situations. Once my heart was beating normally again, I began to pray aloud. I claimed the truth that God's Holy Spirit lives within me and was present right there in the room with me, and I thanked God for His strength, sovereignty, power, omniscience, and anything else I could think of. I prayed for protection over friends and family and asked for a covering of peace over me so that I could rest easily until it was time for me to get up. I read Psalm 121 in both English and Russian and sang quietly, "I lift my eyes up...to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from You, Maker of heaven, Creator of the earth..."

Finally, it felt like the darkness and oppression I had experienced in the dream had lifted and I could no longer keep my eyes open, so I prayed for God to watch over my mind and then I rolled over and immediately went back to sleep. I think I had probably been awake for about 40 minutes.

Praise the Lord, I slept peacefully until I got out of bed about 4 hours later! I don't even remember what thoughts went through my mind or if I dreamed anything after that point. But I was very conscious of the sweet, comforting presence of my Lord surrounding me. It was almost as though His arms were literally holding me as I slept.

I believe that what happened in the wee hours of this morning was a spiritual attack of the enemy. I don't know why or what precipitated it - but I could clearly sense a spirit of darkness in the dream and in the moments after I awoke. And I battled it as best I could with the power of prayer, worship and God's Word.

Ephesians 6:11-12 says this: "Put on all the armor that God gives you, so that you will be able to stand up against the devil's evil tricks. For we are not fighting against human beings but against the wicked spiritual forces in this world; the rulers, authorities and cosmic powers of this dark age."

We know that our enemy will attack - but we often don't know when or how. So we must have our armor at the ready. The Spirit of God within me helped me to recognize what was really going on and I am so thankful for all the songs and Scripture I have memorized so that I did not have to think hard about where to begin to combat the darkness that was surrounding me.

Jesus Christ has won the victory over our enemy and through His blood and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can win every spiritual battle. I hate to have my sleep interrupted, but I am thankful that I woke up when I did and was able to find peace for my spirit again.

My closing thought is a remembrance of a little song my mom used to sing to us at bedtime when we were children - especially when we had trouble sleeping:

Jesus is with me all through the night,

Stays close beside me all through the night;

So I sleep safely till morning light;

Jesus is with me all through the night.

The "Perspective" Difference

On May 5th we celebrated Easter here in Ukraine and the theme was continued on the following Sunday as well. Pastor Andrey preached a message based on the text from Luke 24 where Jesus appears to the two men on their way to Emmaus.

I know this story well, but it doesn't matter how many times we read or hear God's Word, there is always something that we can learn from it. It was on my mind the rest of the day, and during this week as well and God gave me a fresh understanding of the truth in His Word and the reality of His work in our lives.

We are blessed to have the full Scriptures - the history of God's redemption plan through the Old Testament, the record of Jesus' life, ministry and death on earth and what took place after the resurrection, and what all of this together means for us as believers. Sometimes, we can read God's Word and because we know the end of an account or the meaning of something Jesus taught, we may think that we have a more complete knowledge of it...but in reality, we have just as much to learn as the people whom Jesus taught and ministered to.

I know I have been guilty of judgment -- there have been moments when I wondered "how could they not believe that Jesus was the promised one, when they knew what the Scriptures had foretold about His birth?" Or when Jesus explains to His disciples what is going to happen and they immediately question Him about what He means -- "how have they walked with Him so long and still don't understand?"

But just like with the men on their way to Emmaus, we may not fully see or understand until God opens our spiritual eyes and gives us insight through His Spirit. And who am I to judge? The unbelief of the disciples even as Jesus lived and walked with them is no different than the times when God speaks to me and I doubt or question what He says!

Lesson #1: Without the work of God's Holy Spirit to open my spiritual eyes and give me understanding, I wouldn't be able to know Him or comprehend His truth and His transforming work in our lives.

Lesson #2: It does matter where my perspective is focused -- many times in Scripture, God tells us to fix our eyes on Him and to look to Him for understanding and guidance. When our perspective is skewed and we are looking at our circumstances, we will not be able to truly see, hear or understand.

I am so thankful that God has opened my eyes and given me spiritual understanding -- His Spirit lives within me and that alone is what makes the difference. It's nothing of me and all of Him, and I pray that He will use me - even in my weaknesses - to help others see who He is.

Like The Wind

When God speaks to my heart, I often need to write down my thoughts -- and this blog has become a good channel for me to do that.

The devotional today from Joni & Friends really gave me some food for thought on the theme of wind.

Wind is not one of my favourite weather features. When I'm outside in the wind, it often makes my face feel cold and it messes up my hair, and when it's blowing really strong the sound of howling wind often causes me to feel cold.

As I'm writing this, I am thinking about how often I display a negative attitude because I'm focused on the negative (or less-than-positive) aspects and this reminds me of a story I read in my childhood...

...about a little acorn sprout that wanted to grow into a big strong oak tree. But this little acorn sprout complained about and "hated" every trial that came its way -- the squirrel, the wind, the rain -- and every time, someone else came along and told him that God allowed the trial for a purpose and that he needed to be thankful for it. And one day, when he was a big strong oak tree, he realized this truth.

I usually try not to complain about weather, and instead to find something positive to comment on, but in reading this devotional today I realized that I rarely ever look for the positives of wind.

However, God's Word often compares wind to the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives and looking at it from that perspective changes the focus.

I want to share just a brief excerpt with you:

Little wonder Jesus likened the wind to the Spirit. Wind moves. So does the Spirit. It - or I should say, He - never stays still. He is always moving and making His presence known. And if this Holy One lives at the center of our lives, we will see, feel, and at times, almost smell and hear the effects. The Spirit is constantly doing something in us. Just as we can see the effects of the wind in the trees (although we cannot see it), others will observe and appreciate the effects of the Spirit in our lives.

As I was meditating on this today, I thought about changes that come with wind - the transitions between fall and winter, winter and spring, and the havoc that is caused by a windstorm. There's something within me that doesn't always welcome change and challenge and difficulty, and I can become so focused on myself and what I think I need that I miss the blessings and the working of God in those changes.

It's good to live in the moment, but sometimes we need to be looking forward to what may not be visible to us right now -- because just like the wind, we can't always see what God is doing but knowing that His Spirit is working in us is always something to be thankful for, and there will be blessed evidences of His touch in our lives.

I want to share Joni's final thoughts in closing:

Step outside on a breezy March morning and notice that the wind marks its movement by what it touches. In its wake it leaves freshness and cleansing. As you allow the Spirit to touch your life, others will mark His presence and breathe deeply of His fragrance. They will give thanks to God... and thanks to you.

I sense your stirrings in my life, Lord. Move powerfully in me. Blow a fresh breeze through my soul and sweep away anything that displeases You. May I be different for it, and may others see and notice Your touch.

Because HE CAN

Philippians 4:13 says this: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
This verse is one of my favorite verses, and it is also one of the key themes of an endearing and well-written book I've been reading lately, called "At Home in Mitford," by Jan Karon.

I'm going to be perfectly honest and tell you that recently, I was beginning to wonder if I really could do what had been set in front of me. Now, don't get me wrong - I didn't doubt God's plan or His hand at work to bring me to where I am - my struggle came because I let my focus slip. I had become lackadaisical and had allowed temporary pleasures to take over from what I knew was more important.

As a result, I lacked ambition to work hard, I began to question my dedication and whether I had what it takes to meet the expectations I had for myself and the ones I believe God has for me also.

I realized that I needed help, so I asked a number of trusted friends to pray specifically for me in this area and I also asked a very close friend to help keep me accountable. I have already begun to see some answer to the prayers, and in that I have realized something very important, a truth that is contained in this verse. I know it is true, but sometimes it's not obvious in the way I live.

Here is Philippians 4:13 paraphrased in my own words: "I can do all things through Christ because He can do all things."

If we are able to do anything, it is not because we have done something that equips us for the task -- the only reason we are able to do what God wants us to is because His Holy Spirit, who is given to us by His Son, Jesus Christ, is able to work in and through us.

When I pray and present my requests to God with thanksgiving and faith that He will answer (Philippians 4:6), my humility - although required - is not the reason why God is able to answer. It is the catalyst, the act that enables me to place my trust in Him and to allow Him to show me His answer, but He is always able to do whatever He chooses.

Romans 8:28 confirms this belief of how and why God works in our lives, and it makes some very strong statements:

1. We KNOW that God works in our lives - it's not a question or a hope, but a reality.
2. God works for GOOD, never evil - evil is a consequence of sinful choices - but God will use everything in our lives for our good.
3. Why? Because GOD LOVES US and HE HAS CALLED US for a purpose that He has determined.

I tell you this because I have realized AGAIN (I already knew this, but I needed a reminder) that I CAN do what God has put before me only because HE CAN and He has promised that He WILL accomplish His good purpose in my life (Philippians 1:6).

• I can learn Russian because HE CAN give me understanding and the ability to remember what I've studied.
• I can share Christ's love with people - anywhere I go, not only here in Ukraine - because only HE CAN change their hearts and fill them with the same love He has given me.
• I can resist temptation and stand strong because HE CAN keep me by His power and grace and enable me to do what I am powerless to do on my own.
• I can please Him with my life because HE CAN take everything that we offer to Him and make it holy and pure to present to His Father on our behalf.

As long as I keep my focus on Jesus Christ - fixing my eyes on things above, not on earthly things because I belong to Him (Colossians 3:2-3) - I will be able to do what He asks of me, because He is more than able. And because God's power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), I will gladly acknowledge my failings and confess them to Him because then HE CAN change me and work through me to do what in my flesh seems impossible.

John Piper shared recently in a blog some insights from Jonathan Edwards and the part that stood out to me was the statement that God is glorified by communicating and manifesting Himself to us, not by receiving anything from us, and that this is seen most excellently because we are so remarkably poor and empty in ourselves.

We do not serve God because He needs anything from us, but because in the process of dying to ourselves and offering ourselves to Him in humility, He gives us the opportunity to see and know Him and in our great need, He miraculously endows us with His power and love and grace.

Father God, forgive me for my shortsightedness. Forgive me for forgetting that I need You not only for the great and seemingly impossible things, but for every moment of every day. Forgive me for putting other things ahead of You and for neglecting to sit in Your presence and accept from You the strength and grace that I need and desire to accomplish what You want me to.
Speak to me through Your Holy Spirit and remind me when I am tempted to stray that I need You more than anything. Convict my heart and cause me to turn to You and You only for what I need. In the holy and powerful name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, amen.

The Perfect Act

Interesting title, yes? I just finished reading a book yesterday, which is called "The Garden at the Edge of Beyond" by Michael Phillips. It's very thought-provoking, a fictional story of a man's supernatural near-death experience and what he learns about life on earth and eternal life with God. Although the story itself is fictional, the teachings in the book are inspired and enlightening because they align with the truths of God's eternal Word.

Phillips drew from the writings of C.S. Lewis and George MacDonald in the writing of this book, and he devotes two chapters to expounding on the meaning of Matthew 5:48 -- "Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (NASB)

I don't know about you, but I have always thought that although this is a command Jesus gave, that is was unattainable -- because I was thinking about my behavior and circumstances. How am I supposed to be perfect in this life, living in this sinful world? The insights I read in this little book were enlightening...

I'm going to try and summarize what he said in the book, but I will include a few quotes too, because I just can't say it as well as he did.

The character in the story is trying to understand what Jesus meant when He said, "Be perfect," and his guide in the garden tells him this:

"The Lord spoke neither naive nor idealistic injunctions. He gave only possible commands.

He expects us to become creatures that can and will obey Him in everything..

"Our Lord spoke not of sinlessness, but of the perfect act...not of perfection in the face of sin,

but of yielded abandonment of rule..

it was the yielded abandonment of self-rule that the Master modeled for us on the cross."

Jesus is our example -- we know this from Scripture -- and what He did in yielding His own will to the Father is something any man or woman can do as well. When we do this, give up our right to rule our own lives and live the way we want to, we allow our Heavenly Father's perfection to begin living in us. We begin to allow Him to shape us into what He wants us to be.

"God gave each of us a will, and that will becomes fully our own only when we offer it in loving sacrifice back to Him."

We will not be perfect in the endeavor to live selflessly, to surrender our will to God, and although this abandonment or yielding of our free will is what Phillips calls 'the perfect act,' on this earth it will never be a one-time event. We must continually, daily, moment by moment, surrender ourselves and our wills to God. And every time we do, we enter the realm of obedience to Jesus' seemingly impossible command.

Jesus Christ modeled this self-abandonment perfectly in Himself in order that we might be able to follow His example. And He has sent us the Holy Spirit, to live within us and help us beyond what our finite humanity is capable of doing. I like this quote from the book:

"The labor of the Son of God within the heart of every man and woman is for one purpose, to enable them to die as He died...to the rule of self."

God gave us the gift of being able to choose and think for ourselves, with a will that no one else can control unless we surrender it. But the most amazing thing about this gift is that we have the opportunity to yield this freedom, without force or manipulation, back into the hands of God and when we do, we find that He accomplishes greater things in and through us than we could ever have done if we fought to maintain control and power over our own lives!

Heavenly Father, once again I give You all that I am.

I surrender this day into Your hands, with all my desires, my plans, my hopes, my thoughts and my fears. I give You my will and choose to let You control my steps and guide me in the way that is pleasing to You.

Holy Spirit, please remind me that I am not my own when I am tempted to do things my way.

Lord Jesus, thank You for showing me the way and for making it possible - through Your death and resurrection - for me to be made perfect like You.

I long for the day when that perfection is realized, but in the meantime, please help me to remember that I have the choice and responsibility every day to yield myself to You and allow You to do the work You desire to complete in me.

In Your name, to the glory and praise of God, amen.

LORD, I NEED REVIVAL

July 22, 2011 - Sunset on East Loon Lake, ON

This beautiful sunset was a reminder to me of the way that God revives His world as he brings each day to a close and brings a new beginning in the morning.

This weekend I had the privilege of spending some time with friends at their camp on the lake, and it was refreshing to body, mind and spirit in a number of ways. Work has been trying at times this week, and I was exhausted from the heat and the busyness of life, so the time at the lake was a welcome reprieve.

Yet I am reminded, especially as I think on the words of Ephesians 5, that we as believers in Jesus Christ are called to live not by the ways of this world or solely influenced by our circumstances, but in a way that brings glory to God.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma...Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord."

Pastor Kevin spoke on Sunday about how change in our lives and in our relationships begins in our own hearts, not with others. I know this to be true, but we need the transforming power of the Holy Spirit and His grace in order to change this. And I was reminded this week how much I need His revival in my heart so that I live daily setting my "mind on things above, not on earthly things," doing all things "in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father" (Colossians 3) and not living "for myself, but for Him who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Galatians 2)

I wrote the following poem on May 2, 2005 after a Sunday morning sermon, and I think it is a very important and appropriate reminder of the perspective I need to have as I seek to grow in my Christian walk. I hope this is an encouragement to you as well.

"REVIVAL" (By Darlene Joy Koop

The tears begin to flow as I survey my world,

A place of forgotten beauty and hope.

People are searching for fulfilment and purpose,

While their lives fall apart and they cannot cope.

Disaster, death and fear prevail,

There seems to be no escape from the pain.

"Why can't they see?" my heart cries out,

"There is life and peace if they'll call on Your Name."

We need a revival right across this land;

Freedom from corruption and sin.

How long will it take for the truth to break through?

Then I realize it starts from within.

My own life, I know, often seems darkened

And from struggles I long to be freed.

But when I listen, God speaks to my heart;

For revival to come, it must start with me.

I need to choose daily to serve my God

And allow His work in my life.

I must seek, above all, His ways and His will

And let Him take away the sorrow and strife.

I cannot change the world in which I live,

But I have an opportunity each day

To let Christ's love shine through me -

"Lord, send a revival," I pray.