Change is a Process...

You know the phrase: "Please be patient; God's not finished with me yet."

It usually gets pulled out and applied at moments when we feel we've really messed up or at times when we are painfully aware of our weakness and inadequacy. But it is not simply something to say in an awkward situation - it is a hopeful declaration.

I don't know about you, but I am EXTREMELY grateful that we have such a patient and gracious God - He NEVER gives up on us when we sin, miss the mark, disappoint Him, ourselves and others, or make any number of mistakes.

Because of Christ, when we accept His sacrifice for us on the cross and surrender our lives to Him, God the Father now sees us not as flawed human beings, but as precious children clothed in the righteousness of His Son, and He is constantly working in and through us to change us so that we reflect the image of Jesus and bring glory and praise to Himself.

But make no mistake...this is a PROCESS, and one that continues day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute.

I think of the beautiful allegory "Hinds' Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard ... the Shepherd had promised Much-Afraid to bring her to the high places, to perfect her and to fulfil the deepest yearnings of her soul. But every time on the journey where the path seemed to lead away from the goal, Much-Afraid lost sight of the Shepherd's love and faithfulness and fell captive to her fear again. Then she would call out to the Shepherd and He would come immediately and patiently remind her that He would keep His promise. He asked her if she would she trust Him even though it didn't make sense? And then she would build an altar and make a sacrifice, picking up a stone to carry with her as a reminder of the lesson she had learned. It was only at the end of the journey that the stones were turned into precious jewels for a crown, and that she was ready to receive what the Shepherd had promised.

How like Much-Afraid I am sometimes! And how wonderfully patient and gracious is our Good Shepherd - He meets us right where we are at and, though He may discipline us to bring us to the point of surrender, He never condemns us for our weakness, but rather reminds us of His strength. Then He picks us up and sets us back on the path He has chosen for us, the path that will transform us and conform us to His perfect will.

I have been doing some soul-searching lately and have recognized some things in my heart and my life that need to be changed. I have been fighting a battle with my flesh and through Christ I know I will gain the victory, even though I'm not quite there yet. And today I had to face once again certain areas of weakness that affect my ability to effectively serve others.

It is not comfortable, but recognizing our failings and weaknesses is the starting point to move forward, to grow and change. I write this with tears in my eyes, but my heart is also hopeful because I know that God will never let go of me. As long as I seek Him, He will guide me and He will take me through the valleys when He knows there is a lesson there I need to learn, and I will eventually come out on the other side.

A little chorus we sang often when I was a child says this:

"Little by little, every day; little by little in every way,

my Jesus is changing me, He's changing me.

Since I made a turn-about face, I've been walking in His grace, my Jesus is changing me.

He lives in me - God's Holy Spirit - I'm not the same person that I used to be.

Sometimes it's slow going,

but there's a knowing that one day like Him I will be."

When we're in the midst of a refining fire, it's not pleasant. But God has promised to "take away our heart of stone and give us a new heart, a heart of flesh." He has promised to "complete the good work He started in us" until the day we come face to face with Jesus. And He has promised that we will find Him "when we seek Him with all our hearts."

I echo the words of the apostle Paul in Philippians 3: "...not that I have already achieved all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on towards the goal to take hold of the prize for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."

It's NOT easy to be still and wait for God.
It's NOT easy to admit when I'm wrong and to face my weaknesses.
It's NOT easy to face the reality that God's plan is not only different from, but better than my own.

But it's ALWAYS good and, if the desire of my heart is truly to please Him and to become more like Him every day, then it's WORTH IT!

And it's not going to happen because of my goals or my determination to succeed, but only as I humble myself before my LORD and allow Him to continue the process of refining me. And when my life brings forth fruit, ALL the praise and honour goes to Him.

Struggle and Rest

You may be asking why I put two opposing words together in the title -- it's because they are both necessary to the Christian journey and they often go hand-in-hand.

For the last several weeks, I've been struggling with questions about purpose and feelings of not being useful or needed, particularly in regard to the ministry I'm currently involved in. It's been on my mind constantly, and I've been praying much about it, but for the majority of the time, I've been praying that God would give me what I felt I needed most.

I shared this with a few people I trust and asked them to pray for me also, especially as I waited for an opportunity to discuss this and consider what the best resolution is.

As I've been waiting and praying and reading God's Word, I've noticed the tone of my attitude changing from "please make it easier for me" to "give me the peace to accept Your will for me."

I meet via Skype with my parents and several other couples and individuals for a Bible study every Thursday morning (Wednesday evening in BC, Canada), and we are studying the book of Hebrews. Last week, the theme of the study was "rest," and that really spoke to me. I want to share with you a few of the insights I gleaned from that:

• There are different kinds of rest - there's physical rest, mental/emotional rest and spiritual rest - and we need these different kinds of rest in our lives. In a symphony, all the instruments don't play all the time. The rests are intended to accentuate the music, and similarly, the periods of rest in our lives are necessary to fully appreciate the rest of what we do.

• The Sabbath rest is a picture of our rest in Christ at salvation - the work of salvation is complete and there is nothing we need to do in regard to that. The Canaan rest (the rest that God had promised to His people) is a rest of claiming our inheritance in Christ - a rest of submission. Submission is a process - we don't give up everything at once; we may be able to rest in one context, and then in another way later on.

• Hebrews 4:11 says that to enter that "rest of submission", we need to give due diligence/make every effort/do our best. We need to work hard at giving things up to God, and we must give it our best effort.

• Hebrews 4:12 describes the Word of God and the picture of separating soul and spirit is important - God is the only One who can separate us from the things we want to hold onto and what we struggle with. The soul - our will and emotions - is what needs sanctifying. It's important to remember that while it may be painful, we are NOT being separated from God or His love, but rather from the things that hold us back from truly "resting" in Him.

Therefore, today when I had my ministry evaluation meeting and it was communicated to me that this time is intended to be a time of learning and that I don't need to strive so hard to "do something in order to feel useful," my heart had been softened to the point that I was able to submit to his leadership and accept his advice for me.

In the devotional from Joni Eareckson Tada today, I read these words:
Everyone enjoys the idea that God's plans for His children are to prosper them and not harm them, to give hope and a future, bright with possibilities. Yet God gave this invigorating and encouraging promise (Jeremiah 29:11) to inspire the captives. They were not to lose heart. One day, the Lord would deliver them and bring the nation back to Jerusalem. Despite the heartbreak of captivity, God's purpose was not to harm His people. Yes, they would feel the sting of slavery and hardship, but it ultimately meant a prosperous future.

God's purpose for our lives is usually discovered through the process of struggle and surrendering our will and desires to Him. And when we do, we discover incredible peace and rest in Him. One of my new favourite songs by Tenth Avenue North illustrates this when it says:

Hallelujah, we are free to struggle. We're not struggling to be free. Your [Christ's] blood bought and makes us children - children, drop your chains and sing!

So even though I will still struggle sometimes, I can be at rest in God.

The Perfect Act

Interesting title, yes? I just finished reading a book yesterday, which is called "The Garden at the Edge of Beyond" by Michael Phillips. It's very thought-provoking, a fictional story of a man's supernatural near-death experience and what he learns about life on earth and eternal life with God. Although the story itself is fictional, the teachings in the book are inspired and enlightening because they align with the truths of God's eternal Word.

Phillips drew from the writings of C.S. Lewis and George MacDonald in the writing of this book, and he devotes two chapters to expounding on the meaning of Matthew 5:48 -- "Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (NASB)

I don't know about you, but I have always thought that although this is a command Jesus gave, that is was unattainable -- because I was thinking about my behavior and circumstances. How am I supposed to be perfect in this life, living in this sinful world? The insights I read in this little book were enlightening...

I'm going to try and summarize what he said in the book, but I will include a few quotes too, because I just can't say it as well as he did.

The character in the story is trying to understand what Jesus meant when He said, "Be perfect," and his guide in the garden tells him this:

"The Lord spoke neither naive nor idealistic injunctions. He gave only possible commands.

He expects us to become creatures that can and will obey Him in everything..

"Our Lord spoke not of sinlessness, but of the perfect act...not of perfection in the face of sin,

but of yielded abandonment of rule..

it was the yielded abandonment of self-rule that the Master modeled for us on the cross."

Jesus is our example -- we know this from Scripture -- and what He did in yielding His own will to the Father is something any man or woman can do as well. When we do this, give up our right to rule our own lives and live the way we want to, we allow our Heavenly Father's perfection to begin living in us. We begin to allow Him to shape us into what He wants us to be.

"God gave each of us a will, and that will becomes fully our own only when we offer it in loving sacrifice back to Him."

We will not be perfect in the endeavor to live selflessly, to surrender our will to God, and although this abandonment or yielding of our free will is what Phillips calls 'the perfect act,' on this earth it will never be a one-time event. We must continually, daily, moment by moment, surrender ourselves and our wills to God. And every time we do, we enter the realm of obedience to Jesus' seemingly impossible command.

Jesus Christ modeled this self-abandonment perfectly in Himself in order that we might be able to follow His example. And He has sent us the Holy Spirit, to live within us and help us beyond what our finite humanity is capable of doing. I like this quote from the book:

"The labor of the Son of God within the heart of every man and woman is for one purpose, to enable them to die as He died...to the rule of self."

God gave us the gift of being able to choose and think for ourselves, with a will that no one else can control unless we surrender it. But the most amazing thing about this gift is that we have the opportunity to yield this freedom, without force or manipulation, back into the hands of God and when we do, we find that He accomplishes greater things in and through us than we could ever have done if we fought to maintain control and power over our own lives!

Heavenly Father, once again I give You all that I am.

I surrender this day into Your hands, with all my desires, my plans, my hopes, my thoughts and my fears. I give You my will and choose to let You control my steps and guide me in the way that is pleasing to You.

Holy Spirit, please remind me that I am not my own when I am tempted to do things my way.

Lord Jesus, thank You for showing me the way and for making it possible - through Your death and resurrection - for me to be made perfect like You.

I long for the day when that perfection is realized, but in the meantime, please help me to remember that I have the choice and responsibility every day to yield myself to You and allow You to do the work You desire to complete in me.

In Your name, to the glory and praise of God, amen.

GLEANINGS

So...I've been reading in Proverbs lately for my devotions and in case you haven't read them recently, just one chapter gives a person enough to chew on for a while.

I've been reading only a chapter at a time and meditating on it, asking God to speak to my heart through His Word...and He has!! (Really, I shouldn't be surprised, because He said that He would.) There are so many wonderful nuggets of truth in the Proverbs - I think sometimes we read too quickly and miss taking these precepts to heart.

So here's a few of my reflections from Proverbs 19 and 20...

Proverbs 19:3 says that the foolishness of man causes his heart to fret against the Lord. I believe God is saying through this verse that when we worry, we're not fretting over circumstances, but rather against Him, who is sovereign over every aspect of our lives. Puts a different spin on worry and reminds me of the other Biblical commandments regarding anxiety...

Proverbs 19:8 is a profound verse...stating that the pursuit of wisdom is not merely an intellectual act, but a spiritual one also. And also that keeping understanding - especially the understanding and insight that God gives us by His Word and His Holy Spirit - will help us find good.

Proverbs 19:11 cut me to the quick because this is so opposite to our natural human inclination. We would rather judge a transgression than "pass over it," but to practice this is to reflect a little of what God is like -- because He is patient with us, deferring His anger, and passes over our transgressions with His divine grace.

Proverbs 19:17 - it truly is important to God how we treat the poor...Jesus declared in Matthew 25 that whatever we do to those who are considered "the least" we are doing unto Him. I think this applies to everyone -- if we call ourselves disciples of Jesus and we follow Him, then whatever we do for anyone, ultimately we are doing for Him. And God is the One who will repay us out of His bountiful grace if we do good to others for His sake.

Proverbs 19:21 struck me...it doesn't matter what we plan for in our hearts, God's purposes will stand. So because of this - if we choose to surrender our plans to His purposes, ultimately we will find great joy and fulfilment.

Proverbs 20:3 -- it's true that it pleases God when we choose not to fight or argue or cause strife, but if I truly believed it to be an "honour" to cease from strife, it would change my attitude greatly, because I want to live an honourable life.

Proverbs 20:6 is a simple but challenging admonition - rather than talking to everyone about ourselves (our good deeds, character, etc), we need to just be faithful with what God gives us to do.

Proverbs 20:12 - at first glance, this verse seems to be a reminder to give thanks to God for our hearing and sight, but I believe it goes deeper than that. Since the Lord has made both our ears with hearing and our eyes with sight, we should seek to only listen to and look at the things that please Him...as that would bring Him honour for the great gift that He gave us.

Proverbs 20:22 - it is not for us to get revenge and ensure that judgment is meted out for evil...we are to wait on the Lord and He will save us. This is hard to do when we see so much injustice and wrong around us, but if we truly know in our hearts that our God "is mighty to save," then we can wait on and trust in Him.

Proverbs 20:24 is very profound - basically, God has laid out our days and our steps for us, so we should never think that we are in control of our lives, but daily ask God to show us His way and what His will is for our lives.

And finally, verse 29 -- Scripture makes it very clear that gray hair is beautiful. Why then do we fight so against it? If a gray head is beautiful on an older man, wouldn't it be the same for a woman also? Can we not believe God's Word and thank Him for the beauty of growing older? We can choose to be frustrated by the aging process and what we no longer have, or we can be thankful for the days that God has given us. 

Lord, please remind me to always walk in integrity, no matter what I do.

Help me to seek wisdom and keep the understanding You have given me, to use discretion both in words and actions and to forgive transgressions.

May I not become lazy or complacent - as this does not reflect well on a servant of the Lord - but to do everything as unto You. Help me to have pity and compassion on the poor, to accept counsel and instruction and to discard advice that does not match Your truth.

I want to trust You, to wait for Your salvation and to seek You in everything I do.

May I always be thankful for the days You have given me, rather than wishing for something else. And most of all Lord, help me to continually surrender the plans in my own heart to You so that You can truly lead me in the way you would have me go. In Jesus' name, amen.

YOUR WILL, NOT MINE

As Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, "yet not my will, but yours be done." This is to be our declaration if we confess that Jesus Christ is Lord of our lives, but it's easier to say than to actually let go of the control we want to have over our choices.

A short while ago, when I returned to Canada from Ukraine, as I prayed about my future, I made a tentative decision based on what I had seen and experienced and what I thought was best for my future. For a couple of days, it seemed that I had made a wise choice, but then God began to challenge me in my spirit.

My pastor spoke that Sunday about surrendering control of our lives to God and he asked a pointed question: How stubbornly determined are we to live our lives the way we want to?

I had no rest in my spirit for several days as I wrestled with the possibility that I had allowed my will, my desires, my thoughts about what was best for me overrule what God wanted to do in and through my life.

I picked up a devotional book on July 9th and it was a devotional on John 7:17 which was exactly what I needed to hear...
To those who say they want to believe but can't, to the Christian who hesitates to launch out in full dependence on the promise of Christ, it offers an experiment. Reduced to its simplest terms that experiment amounts to this: Submit your will to God and you will know. Just as surely as it is impossible for God to lie, so everyone who honestly says to God, "I will do Thy will," will know whether the Lord Jesus spoke divine truth or only a human word. In light of this, it is the unsurrendered will that keeps men from knowing the Lord Jesus Christ. No man can hold full title to his own will and at the same time really know God. Nor can a Christian hold partial title to his own will and realize to the full what God can do in his life.

That night, amid many tears, I confessed my stubbornness and desire for what I wanted my life and ministry to be and surrendered it to God, asking Him to lead me in His plans for me. I had immediate peace and release from the struggle I had been feeling in my spirit all week.

I do not claim to know yet where exactly God is leading me in ministry, but I DO know this: as long as I do not allow my desires, plans, hopes, etc. to take precedence in my thoughts and prayers, and as long as I truly listen for God's voice, I will know what He wants me to do. And that has brought me the peace I sought.

A PRAYER

I was reading Nehemiah chapter 1 on Wednesday morning for my devotional, and the way that Nehemiah prayed struck me in a profound way. I believe that the following characteristics of his prayer to the LORD are an example of how we ought to pray:
      - He acknowledges who God is and what His character is like.
      - He confesses his sins and the sins of his people.
      - He declares his trust in God's promises
      - He prays with a humble attitude.

So as I prepared for the day, I took the time to write out the prayer that was on my heart...

Lord God of heaven, my great and awesome and faithful God, You who hold the entire universe in Your hand, You know everything that concerns your servant. Please let your ear be attentive to my cry and meet me in my place of need.

I have sinned, Lord - I have acted in selfishness and pride, thinking that I could make a difference at work if I just try harder and put more of my own effort into it. I took upon myself a burden too heavy for me to bear alone and I forgot that I can only prosper if I first surrender it all to You, Lord.

In Your mercy, O God, because You have promised that You will not place us in a situation where You will not give us the strength and grace to bear up under the pressure, I pray that You would show Yourself faithful to me again. Not because I deserve it, but because I long to trust You more.

Lord, You know what awaits me this day and in the coming days. I confess that I am worried about many things, including whether or not I will be able to meet all the expectations of me, and right now I surrender that worry to you.

O Lord God, my desire is to honor You each day and in all that I do to reflect the kind of trust You desire to see in Your humble servant. Please remind me daily, Lord, that You are with me and that You are in control. May I serve with joy, knowing that it is not my own strength, but Yours that enables me and carries me through.

In the precious and holy name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, my Saviour, amen.